What To Expect In Couples Therapy

Any new experience can be daunting, especially something as vulnerable as therapy. 

With that being said, you’ve already taken a big step by making it this far. Recognizing that you and your partner need help can be hard to admit, but the fact that you’re even considering therapy is a huge strength.

There’s nothing to be afraid of. Psychotherapists are trained to build connections and help you feel comfortable opening up. They aim to create a safe space for you to share about your personal and relationship struggles without judgment. 

It’s natural to wonder what happens in couples therapy before actually starting. While it’s important to say couples therapy looks different for everyone, there are a few general guidelines that can give you a sense of what to expect in couples therapy.

What happens in couples therapy?

There is no single “normal experience” that exists in the world of relationship therapy. This list consists of common elements of couples therapy, though your therapist may take a different approach altogether depending on the unique needs and preferences of you and your partner.

You’ll set goals with your therapist

Each couple has different expectations for therapy. Most couples seek counseling to heal and improve their relationship. Some couples are unsure whether they want to remain together and want support in navigating this decision.

Whatever your goal is, a couples counselor can help you get there. 

It’s also completely okay if you and your partner enter therapy without a specific goal in mind. A therapist can help you clarify what you value and how you’d like things to be different.

From here, you and your partner will work with the therapist to figure out how to reach your goal. This usually includes putting in work outside of session as well as attending the sessions themselves.

You’ll be encouraged to express yourself

As you might expect, talking about your feelings is a big part of couples therapy. Even though it may sound cliche, expressing how you feel is crucial for working through the issues in your relationship.

Many people avoid sharing their emotions for fear of how their partner will react. While it’s understandable to be conscious of how your partner may feel about what you share, it’s important to recognize that you cannot control another person’s reaction.

A couples therapist will support both you and your partner with being vulnerable in session. It is part of their role to help both of you express yourselves and make room for the emotions of all parties.

You’ll learn new communication skills

Communication is one of the most common issues that couples face. Even when communication is strong, it can always be improved.

Learning new skills can help you better express yourself to your partner and help you feel more heard. It can also reduce arguments and help you and your partner work through your issues more effectively.

Relationship therapists often have couples practice new communication skills together in session so they can provide feedback in real-time. You’ll then be encouraged to apply the skills you learn to situations outside of session. You and your partner can check in with your couples therapist around what went well and where you both can improve.

You’ll discover how your relationship affects your mind, body, and spirit

All couples therapists take a slightly different approach depending on their own philosophies, education, and experience--as well as your unique needs and preferences as a couple. At Highland Park Holistic Psychotherapy, our team of holistic relationship therapists take your mind, body, and spirit into account during treatment.

We believe that true healing means integration of all aspects of yourself and addressing all parts of your relationship. Our holistic couples therapists often use techniques such as mindfulness to help you and your partner increase your awareness of your mind and body. This can help you be more present with yourself and your partner.

We encourage you to reach out if you are interested in learning more about holistic couples counseling (California residents only).

You’ll work through past issues that still impact your relationship

It’s normal to experience some challenges in a relationship. After all, no one is perfect. However, some issues can keep you stuck and prevent you and your partner from moving forward.

Whether you and your partner experienced infidelity, a breach of trust, or any kind of stressful event, therapy can help you get to the root so you can continue to grow. Even if you can’t put your finger on one specific cause, a couples therapist can help you unearth anything that may contribute to the current issues in your relationship.

It’s important to note that there is no guarantee that counseling will “fix” your relationship. However, if both parties are willing to be open to the process, you’ll be more likely to work through your challenges.

You’ll learn more about yourself and your partner

Couples enter relationship counseling at places in their relationship. They may feel like they know all there is to know about their partner. On the other hand, they may also feel like they no longer know who their partner is.

Either way, couples counseling can teach you more about your partner--and yourself. Even if you feel like you know everything about yourself and your partner, chances are there are things below the surface that are worth exploring.

Therapy can be helpful in the same way if you feel in the dark about what your partner wants (or what you want). A couples counselor will support you both in reflecting on who each of you are and what you want and need from the relationship.

Learn about what happens in couples therapy by working with one of our holistic relationship therapists

The best way to learn about what happens in couples therapy is by experiencing it yourself. Our team of holistic couples therapists would be honored to support you and your partner in navigating the challenges in your relationship.

If you and your partner are ready to begin the healing process, reach out today for a free consultation or to schedule your first appointment.